Oatmeal in a Frying Pan

This has been a rough week.

School is back in session after a two week hiatus. Now I'm back to waking up at 6:30AM and teaching the future of America drama. What makes this all uniquely tough is that I'm performing six nights a week at Studio Theater. My show was scheduled to close before school started. But because I'm so freakishly, amazingly talented and an awesome miracle/sight-to-behold on stage, the show was extended for not one, but TWO (count 'em) TWO weeks. This means I wake up at 6:30AM, leave my apartment and do not return until midnight. It's safe to say that this schedule has taken a toll on me.

Case in point:

The other night, I get home late and I'm starving. I had not eaten dinner because I chose to nap in lieu of food (goes to show you just how tired I've been). When I get home I'm faced with nil in the kitchen to satisfy me - I ain't have jack. You see my kitchen, while clean, is very bachelor-like. I'm talking month-old takeout containers in the fridge and little else in the cabinets.

But, as luck would have it, I spot oatmeal. I think, "Yes! I will make oatmeal. I will eat it and be satisfied." The voice of the Lord spoke to me and said, "Check to see if the oatmeal has expired." I look and see, "Best used by 11 APR 06." Yep, I had that same canister of oatmeal since I was 25 years old.

I took that warning as a suggestion, and I went ahead and made some.

In true bachelor form, I don't have a pot to cook the oatmeal. But, I do have a frying pan. Could I have microwaved it? Yes. Did I? No. I'd made up my mind, and I was going to fry up some oatmeal, damn it. Well, I followed the directions, said a prayer and hoped to God I survive.

I survived. And I sat happily in my arm chair, eating my fried oatmeal out of a mixing bowl with a plastic fork.

Only God knows why I'm still single.