A little known DC fact: DC cabdrivers generally go for curly-haired, thick, black-chicks getting over a chest cold.
In the last month I've taken a few cabs . And when my drivers aren't
trying to hustle me, they are coming on to me. Imagine the following being said with a thick Ghanaian or Arabic accent:
"So, is there a man waiting for you at home?"
"Why isn't your husband picking you up?"
"Are you leaving work? A good man would not make you work."
"You are so beautiful. Are you from the islands?"
"Why are you out so late? Your husband sit at home and cry why you gone."
These comments result in me talking (at length) about my imaginary boyfriend/husband/lover. I do this for two main reasons: First of all, while I might come off as a tough girl, I still can get creeped out fairly easily. So, if I get unsolicited comments like this I start to think that the cabby wants to drive me someplace that's NOT my apartment. Next thing you know, Milk Carton City. Secondly, by making up a fake man, I also get to make up a fake life which is just downright hilarious.
Here's few of my favorite Fairytale responses:
"Yes, my husband is waiting at home. He just got in from Paris. He's french. I married him so he could have his green card and we fell in love."
"My boyfriend isn't picking me up because he's sleeping. He just got back from shooting a film in NY. I can't tell you his name, but I certainly "Got my groove back." ... Diggs, I'm dating Taye Digs."
"No, I'm not leaving work. I just left the doctors. (crying) I'm pregnant and I don't know how to tell my boyfriend."
"Yes, actually. I'm from the islands but my marriage was arranged when I was very young so I grew up mostly in the states."
"I'm only allowed one night out each month. He's not crying. I made him dinner before I left and his girlfriend is there to keep him company."
For a man to have the slightest chance, to even be considered an Official Crush, he has to be unattainable.
