Shake Whatcha Mama Gave Ya

Mom and Dad celebrating after one of my shows.

My mom rocks. (She's crazy, but she rocks). Sharon has lived through a lot. She's strong and doesn't take any shit. Mom's the kind of woman that speaks her mind and filters very little as a result. Because of that, my mother and I have had some of the most hilarious conversations I've ever had the privilege to be a part of.

I just got off the phone with her and here's a transcript of our conversation:

(Note: This conversation has not been embellished for comedy. This conversation actually happened.)

Me: Hey momma!
Mom: How's my baby doing?
Me: Good, just napping.
Mom: Don't you have rehearsal?
Me: Not today, I 'm getting some much needed rest. I had it every night this week.
Mom: I'm on a date with your father.
Me: You two are still dating?
Mom: Yes. It's his office Christmas Party on the Spirit of Philadelphia.
Me: Nice! That sounds cool. You guys all dressed up?
Mom: Girl, I look hot. I feel beautiful. I have cleavage out!
Me: Mom!?
Mom: When you get old you have to start showing cleavage. If you don't, you'll look old. Some people when they get old, they wear turtlenecks. I'm not wearing no turtle necks.

[beat]

Me: Make sure you get some pictures.
Mom: (quizzically) Of my cleavage?
Me: NO!!! Of you and dad on the boat.
Mom: Ok. Cuz I look good.

[cutting to the end of the conversation]

Mom: I'll talk with Dad about when we'll be down to see your show.
Me: Just come to the closing weekend, the first weekend in January. You'll be less busy then.
Mom: Are you sure? Won't you be stale if we wait 'til the end?
Me: When you come, wear a turtleneck.

I love you mom.

Thanksgiving Day Porn

I did the unthinkable today, I turned on my television.

For those that don't know, I've been sans cable since February. That's right, for nearly a year I used my TV for nothing but DVD viewing. No rabbit ears. Not even watching non-cable channels. I even went so far as to get rid of all cable cords so I wouldn't be tempted to plug them in and get a fix.

Today being Thanksgiving I was overcome with the desire to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade - it being a tradition and all. I thought, "let me see if the 'ole box even works." So, I switched off of DVD mode, and attempted to watch some basic TV. I managed to see a slightly fuzzy, but perfectly audible Matt Lauer wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving.

I sat back and enjoyed the parade, but could not help but notice the impact of the Broadway strike. Where the Macy's Parade is usually a chance for Broadway's best to show off, it was clear the B-list shows were called upon to pitch hit for the heavy hitters. That sounds harsh, but I couldn't shake the feeling that Xanadu the Musical wouldn't have had airtime if Wicked and Spamalot weren't benched.

Shows on Strike:

A Bronx Tale A Chorus Line August: Osage County Avenue Q Chicago The Color Purple Curtains Cyrano de Bergerac The Drowsy Chaperone The Farnsworth Invention Grease Hairspray Is He Dead? Jersey Boys

Legally Blonde Les Miserables The Lion King The Little Mermaid Mamma Mia! The Phantom of the Opera Rent Rock 'n' Roll Spamalot Spring Awakening The Seafarer Wicked Wicked: Behind the Emerald Curtain Tour

Shows NOT on Strike:

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee Cymbeline Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas Mary Poppins Pygmalion The Radio City Christmas Spectacular The Ritz Xanadu Young Frankenstein

Here's to a quick and fair resolution to this strike and the writers strike. Here's to peaceful resolutions to conflicts the world over. Here's to a safe and merry holiday season.