This was that email:
Win 2 Airline Tickets WIN 2 AIRLINE TICKETS.
ALL EXPENSES PAID TO THE 2008 OLYMPIC GAMES IN PEKING, CHINA.
To participate is very easy. Just see the attached photo. Correctly answer the following questions and send your answers to the International Olympic Committee.
1. Which student seems to appear tired/sleepy?
2. Which ones are male twins?
3. Which ones are the female twins?
4. How many women are in the group?
5. Which one is the teacher?
Good Luck !!!
When I first saw this, I laughed. (Terrible, I know.) Especially because it's annoying when people say all black people look alike. And then I thought, when I get to Japan, I won't have this issue. It will be easier to see individuals as individuals, regardless of their appearance. My western gaze will be diversified. I will riiiiise above, and I will win the tickets to the Olympics of my heart.
Oh, how the high and mighty fall.
In addition to teaching English at the M.I.L (a language institute), I also teach at a Japanese private elementary school. I'm the only staff member at M.I.L. that teaches off site, in an actual classroom. I love this aspect of my job, because for two days of the week I am embedded in the culture in a way that I wouldn't have if I just taught at M.I.L. teaching sites - where students come to you, in groups of 3-5 to learn English.
At the private school, I teach Primary 1 to Primary 6. Equivalent to Kindergarten to 6th Grade. I teach groups of 45 students at a time, 6 times a day, for 2 days a week. The kids are amazing. They make no effort to disguise their fascination with my color, and my country of birth. This is refreshing and appreciated because the adults I teach try to act like they aren't affected by it. Which makes for stilted conversation, and "niceties," but I prefer the realness of the private school kids.
Like the little ones in the States, the younger kids at the private school have an early dismissal. So I leave the school the same time they do. At first this wasn't a problem. Groups of 10 would follow me to the train (they were catching the train too), and they would practice the day's English lesson with me.
It was great. Until I was attacked.
The little ones LOVE to play. And while they are creepily well-behaved in the classroom, on the train platform, they have NO self control, and NO respect for their foreign teacher.
One fateful day one of my precocious students got bored with the English chitter chatter, and tried to grab my ipod. I stopped him. Then he goes for my shoes. I stopped him. Then he hits me. He hits me a lot. He's laughing the whole time. Clearly he's having the time of his life. And I would have indulged his playful spirit if the circumstances were different. But here I am, the ONLY foreigner on the station platform. With about 10 kids. 10 of THEIR kids and one the kids is hitting me and causing a scene. So the whole station is looking at ME. I can't speak to them and explain who I am to these kids or speak to the kids in Japanese to tell them to calm down.
The next day, I tell Mrs. Kaneko, a teacher who speaks English at the school, about the incident. She explains to me that all the English teachers before me went through the same thing. (This was comforting). Then, she said something to me that sent a chill up my spine.
"Show me who he is, and I'll talk to his homeroom teacher."
"Show me who he is." !?!?!? I teach about 250 Japanese children in a day. Not only that, all the children are in UNIFORMS. He was small, so I knew he was either in Primary 1 or Primary 2 . This cut the police line-up down to about 80 students.
I started to sweat. I couldn't just say to Mrs. Kaneko, "Forget about it. Never mind." And I sure as hell couldn't say, "This is a needle-in-the-hay-stack situation lady." So I did the only thing my ego would let me do, I set out to I.D. the culprit.
I taught my first couple of classes and ruled out all but two of the students. "How did you do that?" Well, I gave everyone a high-five when they came in. I figured it would help to have each of the kids hit me, so I might recognize him that way.
So there I was with two kids. One of them hit me and tormented me on the train platform. One didn't. I did the only thing my conscience would let me do.
I turned them both in.
I know what you're thinking, "Natasha, you are evil. You are a terrible human being." To that I say, "I know." My only solace is that Mrs. Kaneko will investigate the matter with the kids and widdle the two, down to the one who did it.
I didn't get the gold medal in race relations. But I'll settle for a silver.
2 comments:
i get people mixed up all the time. in fact, i have a theory that if you're a non-descript person of your race (avg looking white guy, avg looking black guy, etc) you should develop a tic to set you apart. you can be the avg fat, bald white guy who sings his greetings or the avg mousy brunette girl with the pink streak in her hair. whatever. but one tic example i always go to is you should be the avg (insert race/shape here) who punches people. ... clearly, that does not always make you terribly memorable!
this is a great story. i hope it plays out okay!
hahahahaahhahaha. i wish i had more to say then "i laughed out loud" but i did, this post made me laugh, it made me miss you, it confirmed how funny you are, blah blah I could go on with how much I love you but mostly it just made me laugh.
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