Get Your Freak On

For a man to have the slightest chance, to even be considered an Official Crush, he has to be unattainable.

Yes gentleman, step right up.

If you want to be the object of my quiet affection, if you want your name doodled on my notebook, and if you want to have ridiculous expectations thrust upon you every time we communicate - then please be one of the following:

Gay
Married
Taken
Live Far Away (The further the better.)
Disinterested
Distant
Player
Self-Absorbed
Commitmentphobe
Unable to reciprocate affection
Too Cool for School
Famous
Freak
Unintelligible
Annoyed by Me
In a Band (Like on the radio.)
Non-English Speaking

Yes, if you are any of these things and you will be in the running to be my next Official Crush.